Funny Biking Recollections

[Iron Head]

Was reminiscing today about some biking recollections that made me chuckle I thought I might share. First one involved my G80 with a ‘coffin' (wooden box with a car seat) chair. Met at a local pub garden one summers evening with a load of bikers and discovered the next day that the chair had about 30 beer glasses in it!

Second was my mate Graham (Brillo) leaving work at the RAE in Farnborough on his beautiful Rickman Metisse T120 and belting up the Farnborough Road to be stopped by a police motorcyclist who said “let's see your bike then”.....

Third was Brillo again, who had curly hair bigger than Jimi Hendrix, being flagged down in Ascot High Street on his A10 because the wind was blowing his hair over his open face helmet and the cop thought he wasn't wearing a helmet. Slowing down revealed the lid and Brillo was waved on his way!

Those were the days would love to hear others tales.

Iron Head

[Plugsnpoints]

I had passed my test at 17 on my Continental. A few months later(1982) I traded it in for a bigger machine (a Tiger 90) from a well known classic motorcycle dealer in Suffolk. On the way home the engine destroyed itself on the A12. I was 18 and it was all the money I had in the world (£350). I fully accept it was a used motorbike, but I've never dealt with him again due to his attitude. I had no transport for work. You live and learn though!

A funny tale was getting a lift on a mate's Triumph with my hands in my pockets as it was so cold. I slid off the back straight under a parked car. He didn't realise at first then came back and found me giggling, staring up at a sump!

My mate Barry reassembling his two stroke twin after a rebore, buzzing it round the block finding all sorts of strange noises. He found a stray petrol pipe clip in one of the ports, undoing all his patience and good work!

I bought a Guzzi 850 as a box of bits, spent many evenings making it roadworthy then taking it out for a test run. All seemed good so booked an MOT. On the way thee I decided to try it out (as you do!). It went into an almighty tank slapper at 80. A change of pants and a steering damper sorted that one.

Another was finding my Guzzi 1000 had no drive when pulling away from traffic lights. The AA man said he's be able to fix it, but I knew he wouldn't. I took it apart to find both driven plates with all the rivets sheared. I decided that wheelies weren't the best thing to try on such a lump.


A good thread. There's loads of biking anecdotes I'm sure. My old man picking me up from school on his Trident, kicking shit out of it before giving up and pushing it home. His heavy gauntlet had flicked the kill switch!

[Pharisee]

Second was my mate Graham (Brillo) leaving work at the RAE in Farnborough on his beautiful Rickman Metisse T120 and belting up the Farnborough Road to be stopped by a police motorcyclist who said “let's see your bike then”.....

I had a similar incident whist out on my Mk1 Laverda Montjuic. I was staying with friends in Norfolk, in Shipdham between Watton and Dereham. Having spent an hour or so on essential maintenance (an almost daily chore with that highly tuned and highly strung machine), I took it for a blast up towards Dereham. I got to Toftwood, turned round and gave it the beans back towards Shipdham. The bike was running full race cams and an open megaphone exhaust (very unsociable, but I was younger then, yer honour). On full chat it could be heard 3 counties away. I got as far as the lay-by and was flagged down by a very large policeman, who waved me into the lay-by. A policewoman was standing by their parked car. I got a stern ticking-off, but they were far more interested in the bike, never having heard of, or seen a Montjuic. Turned out that the policewoman's son was a well known bike racer. Spent quite a few minutes chatting before they sent me on my way... slowly.

[SPRIDDLER]

I have it on good authority that taking a comfort break at a service station a chum hastily removed his helmet, tucked his gloves inside and placed it at the side of the wash basin whilst he relaxed into some long-awaited and overdue relief. Slowly, and whilst his back was turned the helmet rolled over, ending upside down in the sink underneath the automatic tap...…...

[clive]

Age 17 I took a lift with a mate on the back of his 650 Triumph, this had a high backrest installed for the pillion. My mate said don't lean back into it as it was set too far back. I ignored him of course. We were going along one of those old three lane roads with the suicide middle lane for overtaking in both directions behind a Mini. Suddenly my mate saw a gap and gave it full throttle and the front wheel lifted high. We wheelied past the Mini with me lying horizontal at about eye level with the shocked driver. I sat forward after that!

[Rob Harknett]

Went on a Sunday run on a nice warm summers day, from the Herts section meeting pub to Maldon. Jan decided to wear a little skirt instead of jeans. After a few miles, no one had overtook me ??????????? As we left Chelmsford, there seemed to be even more bikes behind me. Still no one has overtook me. Eventually about 6 modern bikers drew level with me, rode along side me for a while laughing and giving a thumbs up. ????? Eventually got to Maldon. Jan's not too happy. I asked whats a matter. She said I've been trying to get you to stop for about the last 20 miles. I was sitting on my skirt when we started off. After about the first 10 miles along the bumpy country lanes, it had gone up round my waist.

[Expat]

As teenagers we all did what we could to keep our bikes on the road as cheaply as possible.

One mate, Dave carefully layered up a fiberglass mat oil tank for his Triumph, the last job to be done after an extensive rebuild.

He booked the MOT and we attended in excited anticipation of success at last.

The tester wouldn't issue a pass, said the lower edge of the tank was too close to the chain and could be pierced by it.

You can guess what happened on the ride back home.

There was still enough oil left in the tank when we arrived to leave a large puddle on his parents patio Mum was not best pleased.

Poor Dave was gutted

[LynP]

It was 1966 I was on my first bike a 1963 Francis Barnett Falcon riding along a 3 lane clearway. I had just topped up with fuel and put a bit? extra two stroke in for extra peace of mind. I looked behind and all I could see was a huge cloud of blue smoke across two lanes, I remember thinking 'I've over done that oil' next thing a police motorcyclist appeared out of the smoke. Of course I was pulled over, after he stopped coughing he asked me what I thought I was doing, I explained about the oil, got told to get it fixed and sent on my way. I think he was more annoyed at having to ride through the smoke than the pollution I was causing. How times have changed.

[Plugsnpoints]

My other mate was rebuilding his 250 for the umpteenth time after crashing it or blowing it up again.

He popped inside to use the loo.

What he didn't realise is that he's trodden on the tube of red Hermatite and walked it up the stairs carpet-his mum wasn't best pleased!

He was also the one who asked for a go on my moped, and had trodden in some dogsh*t. He's kickstarted it, then stalled it. This meant that by flicking the kickstart lever out again, he'd managed to get it all over my twistgrip and brake lever etc.

[Iron Head]

We used to own a flower nursery and my older brother was allowed to cut a nice bunch of Chrysanthemums for his posh girlfriend to take to her parents in the sidecar of his Jawa 350. All hell was let loose when a very angry bee emerged from the blooms miles down the road with poor Tricia having a fit from inside the ‘chair', we still laugh about it now!

Iron Head