Famous quotes...

[TommoT]

...how about a round of famous quotes?

W. C. Fields:

1. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

2. All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

3. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

4. The only people I never learn to understand are those s e l l i n g spirits!

[mick williams]

These may not be famous, but worth a read anyway!!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. I f you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just get worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same Night

[itma]

My favourites are probably too obscure,
But I like
"when I`m good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm better".... Mae West

"somebody has stolen the cork out of my lunch".....WC Fields

"Theres no there there"...Gertrude Stein

as good a description of some places as you could get.

[crawsue]

The most annoying quote for some time was uttered by me about 4 months ago,went something like...."well that's the top end rebuilt with new gaskets,seals,etc,oil tight at last" ......"aye...right"

[TommoT]

quote:
The most annoying quote for some time was uttered by me about 4 months ago,went something like...."well that's the top end rebuilt with new gaskets,seals,etc,oil tight at last" ......"aye...right"


There would be similar famous quotes from many a member: " I now have an oiltight pressed steel primary chaincase..."

[itma]

"I'll just give this nut another turn..."

"My bike has never broken its crank [ pin]"

[crawsue]

[quote]
"I'll just give this nut another turn..."

"My bike has never broken its crank [ pin]"


"Wot oil?SAE 50,that's wot oil I oil wiv,....my driveway,that isEdited by - crawsue on 09 Aug 2008 4:45:00 PM

[pto]

Steady lads and lassies, the moderater may wake up again ans discover someone is having a bit of fun, before that happens my favourite is: " where did I put that spanner"

[SPRIDDLER]

quote:
Steady lads and lassies, the moderater may wake up again ans discover someone is having a bit of fun,

Abrasive and relevant wit, double entendres and innuendos have always been a welcome part of these forums.

The completely irrelevant dirty jokes are better told (if you must) face to face to those whom you know well enough to be able to arrogantly presume that they appreciate them.

Edited by - SPRIDDLER on 10 Aug 2008 11:15:18 AM

[Don Madden]

Neville, when you referred to dirty jokes, did you mean my AJS or Matchless?

Cheers, Don.